MANILA — Ever since I was young, I was aware of the reality that life is difficult, so I used to dream of becoming rich. And since we have a sari-sari store, I wanted a job related to it—to become a businesswoman or an accountant. I grew up knowing that was what I wanted.

And then college happened. I realized the difficulties and challenges of our educational system. Then the pandemic happened. Attending classes and submitting academic requirements was a struggle because of the unstable internet connection. It even came to a point where I had to climb the roof of our house just so I could download the recordings of our meetings which I was not able to attend. For the first time in my student life, I received a failing grade, a “singko”, prompting me to change my major. My dream of becoming a Certified Public Accountant was crushed. I felt lost, and for the first time, my plan failed.

First Heartbreak

My heart was broken. And I carried that first heartbreak when I decided to change my major to Financial Management. I felt that I had no choice—it was difficult to transfer schools during the pandemic, and I was too heartbroken to even consider whether I could still continue with Accountancy. That’s when I decided to let it go and for the first time I had no plan for myself.

Until 2021—I was so scared for my life. This was during Duterte’s drug war, when the youth were being killed one after another. This made me realize that ranting on social media was no longer enough—I had to join an organization so that if something like that happened to someone I knew, I would be able to fight back. And so I joined Anakbayan PUP. There, I engaged with communities, participated in educational discussions, and joined mobilizations.

This is my purpose of life, I thought, to fight for the people and with the people. Eventually, I coped with my first heartbreak as I have found my true purpose.

Then internship happened and I struggled. The corporate world is not for me, I thought. Why didn’t Bulatlat have a finance and admin department back then? Joke.

Bulatlat journey

Good thing that before I graduated, a friend, Dominic, the community manager of Bulatlat, informed me that the newsroom was looking for an administrative officer. I was excited! Even though the newsroom wasn’t related to my original dream, I knew at the back of my mind that I also want to write. I was just discouraged back in junior high school because we didn’t have proper training.

It all went well. I am grateful for the Bulatlat staff. I’m so thankful that Bulatlat staff are supportive. Even though I was afraid to write, they encouraged me to push through. Little by little, I’m trying to overcome that fear of writing.

Now, I am not lost. I have found another purpose – to learn how to write and to write for the people.